So never mind, it wasn’t just initiation. She was being dead serious. I just had to make a wanted poster for the president. Yes, you heard me. A wanted poster for the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! Find my original report here. This is getting ridiculous. If I didn’t need the cash, I’d quit before I was in too deep, but that doesn’t look possible, so now I’m just praying the FBI doesn’t hunt me down for like, terrorism or something. I love America, I swear!
So I used Pixlr to make this assignment. I had a wanted poster template already on my computer, so I used it. I had to edit out the “dead or alive” part, cause even though this poster isn’t serious, someone searching the internet could take it seriously, and you have to be really careful about what you post about the President. So I used the clone stamp tool and covered up most of the original text, then used the text tool and made my own. I attempted to make it a little more satirical in voice so I talked about the bananas.
Oh my gosh, my new managers is driving me crazy! She’s nice and all, it’s just there’s something a little off about her. Like, she had me investigating the case of her missing bananas! I swear, I’m convinced that she just forgot she ate them, but NOOO. “They’re missing”, she says. “Someone stole them” she says. I’m hoping this is just initiation, but I was sifting through her old “evidence” and came across some news clippings. That’s when my brilliant idea came up. To make up a conspiracy theory. So I made up that Obama’s an alien and he stole her banana’s cause he needed to get into office. The full report’s here. Well the sucking up worked cause she loved it. Now I’m hoping to move on to bigger cases, that actually exist…
It was a writing assignment, so the creation of it was pretty simple. I just looked up in Google key words in headlines I thought would be useful. Then I created my back story and wa-la! A conspiracy theory was made.
I think my application to Stirrup Trouble got accepted! I received a business card in the mail, which is huge because they keep their headquarters address and phone number secret from the general public. It make it easier to sift through cases and avoid drama and angry ex’s.
So I found another one of those “free” sites. But I’m figuring out ways around it so no complaints here It’s not like we’re a legit thing anyways so I’d feel more guilty for actually using their stuff for free. ANYways… I got to sift through a bunch of templates, but before I made my actual business card, they gave me the option to create a logo and have it saved to the account I opened with my second email. Then I made my actual business card using the logo they provided for me. It was really neat, all I had to do was type in the name, and the type of business I was in and it generated a ton of logos to choose form. And their formats for the cards were really cool. It would totally be worth the $9.50 if I was creating something legitimate. So yeah, it was cool capturing the essence of Stirrup Trouble in a business card.
So I had applied to Stirrup Trouble today. I really hope my resume will be good enough to get in, at least part-time. My hippotherapy company isn’t doing too well so I NEED the extra cash, and I refuse to go back to my old line of work. I’m also hoping my past doesn’t come back to haunt me…
So I used a “free” online resume maker. I use quotation marks because it’s not free to download and access, just to make. But they don’t tell you that… the only free service I could use was to share it to Twitter. So look me up @twitterbird841!